I have read some of your essays. When I looked at the titles, I thought you were an atheist against the bible. However, I realized that you were just looking for the truth you can count on. Most of people try to find some discrepancy in order to check if the teaching is truth or not, like you, although people do not reveal their own idea to public, normally. I think you are a brave person. Actually, I had the same feeling about it. I read the bible from the cover to the cover several times. In my case, I reached to the conclusion that the bible is the truth, though.
I admire that you have studied the bible and other religious books very much. However, if you insist on the detail in the bible too much, I think you might loose the essence of the bible. As you know, the new testament is the book of the witnesses of Jesus. Therefore, it is no wonder that there are some disagreements among the witnesses. The old testament clearly says itself that some parts of the bible were modified.
Abraham believed in the words of God, and left his native place, although he did not read the bible at all, as you know. The bottle line is, do you believe that Abraham really heard the voice of God? Many people in the bible made communication with God, and they obeyed the words. Do you believe that? In the old and new testaments, God himself and Jesus said that the holy spirit would be given if you really repented and believed in God, and asked God for the holy spirit, which lead you to the truth. Do you really believe in that?
It is foolish and childish for normal people who do not believe in God to pray to unseen God. Therefore, the intelligence try to find the truth in the teachings or in the philosophy in many religious books, like you. In other words, normal people cannot really believe in God without experience to touch with God. You might think it is stupid. However, if you want to know the truth, you have to get out of the common sense in this world completely. Do I know the truth? I do not think so, but I really believe in God. He really gives me peace when I am in the trouble. Of course, my faith in God fluctuates every day. If you asked me if I want money, a good looking woman, or a good position, I would say "yes, I do". I am not a strong person, but the holy spirit is changing me without any doubt day by day.
If you want, please try it once by asking God for the holy spirit with the completely sincere and opened mind to God. It might take a week, a month, or a year to receive the holy spirit, but I think it is worth of it. However, if you think this is ridiculous, please forget about it. It is up to you.
(1) I stopped looking away from the fact that the Bible is often wrong.
I read the bible from the cover to the cover several times. In my case, I reached to the conclusion that the bible is the truth, though....[I]f you insist on the detail in the bible too much, I think you might loose the essence of the bible.
There are simply too many instances of errors in the Bible. I have already shown some of them. The question is to face the fact or not. If you want to believe in your salvation based on the biblical promises rather than to know the truth, then you have no choice but to deceive yourself by looking away from the fact: "Don't look at details!"
(2) I stopped being a Christian.
If you want, please try it once by asking God for the holy spirit with the completely sincere and opened mind to God. It might take a week, a month, or a year to receive the holy spirit, but I think it is worth of it.
How often I was told this! And everytime when I was told this, I accused myself; "I have not prayed enough; I have not made sincere effort enough; I have not studied the Bible enough; I have not been good enough", etc. for over twelve years!
Is it really because I have not tried enough that I do not know God?
I welcome divine appearance onto me, anytime anywhere. If he is, let him. But I will no longer deceive myself by first conjuring up an image of god in my mind and then believing in it. I stopped being a believer.
(3) Being a Christian is not special.
[T]he holy spirit is changing me without any doubt day by day.
If you have been around to be a Christian for a long time like me and see yourself and other numerous Christians and non-Christians enough, then you will know that being a Christian is not special. Christians are as bad as non-Christians; non-Christians are as good as Christians. Whatever the changes made in Christians, supposedly by holy spirit, they are really insignificant when you compare them to the changes made in non-Christians.